the buddies song

yo, i can't sing it,
i feel like singing,
i wanna fucking sing,
coz i'm happy,
yeah, i'm happy,
i got all my buddies at my back,
yo, check it out,

some days i sit, starin out the window,
watching this world pass me by,
sometimes i think theres nothing to live for,
i almost break down n cry,

sometimes i think i'm crazy,
i'm crazy, oh so crazy,
why am i here, am i just wasting my time?

but then i see my buddy,
suddenly i'm not crazy,
it all make sense when i see they're by my side,

sometimes it feels like the world on my shoulder,
everyone leaning on me,
sometimes it feels like the world almost over,
but then they come back for me,

my fren and all keeps getting older,
i watch them grow up with pride,
people make jokes, coz they don't understand me,
they just don't see my real side,

i act like shit don't face me,
inside it drives me crazy,
my insecurities could eat me alive,

but then i see my buddy,
suddenly im not crazy,
it all make sense when i see they're by my side,

now u probably get this picture from my public persona,
that i'm a pistol-packing drug addict who has this trauma,
but i wanna just take this time out to be perfectly honest,
coz there's alot of shit i keep bottled that hurts deep inside my soul,
and just know that i grow colder the older i grow,
this boulder on my shoulder gets heavy and heavy to hold,
and this load is like the weight of the world,
and i think my neck is breaking shud i just give up,
or try to live up to these expectations?

now look, i love my buddies more than life in itself,
but i got a past that's determined to make my life livin hell,
but i handle it well,given the circumtances im dealt,
so many chances, man, its too bad, coulda happen to someone else,
but a year that ive wasted are nothing to the tears that ive tasted,

so here's what i'm facing:
3 diseases, 6 months of hospitalisation,
iv went to ICU for this past, ive been to the OT for this past,
ive taken pills behind people's back, punctured 20 time for this past,
man i shoulda see it comin,why'd i put the pill in my mouth?
woulda throw all the weed up if i seen what i was fuckin around,
but fuck it,its over, there's no reason to cry no more,
i got my buddies, maybe the only people i adore, science sixers
so sayonara, try tommora, nice to know ya,
and suddenly it seems that my shoulder blades have just lifted,
its like the greatest gift i can get,
the weight have lifted,

now it dont feels like the world on my shoulder,
everyone's leaning on me,
cuz my buddies know that their fren a soldier,
nothing can take them from me.

p/s: i just wanna say that im really greatful to have frens like all of u.
all 0509 members and science sixer. thnx for supporting me through out my
illness. i really2 love u guys and i hope that our brotherhood stays till
the end of lyfe.

truly, mondok 20.